Asking for a Friend: Is it Me or is it My Campus?

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Photo: Professor Stephen Kuusisto and guide dog Nira marching in academic convocation at Syracuse University.

I’m borrowing my title from Liza Featherstone’s new advice column in The Nation which is entitled: “Asking for a Friend: Is It Me or is it Capitalism?” Oh the sang froid of self help! One scarcely knows how to pursue emotional intelligence in these times, why not write Ms. Featherstone? It’s a fine joke. Or as John Lennon would say: “Whatever gets you through the night…”

Now my problem isn’t rampant, alienating, corporatist neglect, though it’s true just last week a man on the phone tried to tell me my wife’s brand new computer had a virus and he could fix it for $99. I still have sufficient causticity to look in the horse’s mouth as it were, and while the workaday world can wear me down, I like my labor just enough to avoid…

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Ahab, Entrepreneur

One thing is like another until it isn’t—a pine doesn’t resemble a coffin though as a boy I saw men inside each tree, my way to be less alone, talking as if I could force resemblance. Later they teach us this can’t be done. By the time one enters college one no longer sees murdered kings inside the lightbulbs on theater marquees. (The line is Robert Bly’s: “there are murdered kings in the lightbulbs outside movie theaters.” ) No, instead of the inner life with its Promethean distrust of static materiality, you hit campus at 18 vowing to be a pharmaceutical sales rep, or better, to be the maker of a new “app” that replaces sales reps with bots. Meanwhile there really are dead potentates in traffic lights; the souls of murdered animals swim alongside your shoes as you walk to the business college. Thank god they shook all that mumbo jumbo out of you back at Thomas Worthington High School and made you a proper little Prole.

I did talk to those trees when I was 6 years old. And there really were men inside those rough pines. Best of all, I didn’t have to tell anyone. Years later, reading the Finnish Kalevala I’d see I was a minor character in an ancient poem about wizardry. My job, the work of the inner life, was to never forget what the wizards had passed down. At the very least I should distrust standard issue real estate and transactional materialism. Even a simple pine tree is more interesting than is commonly supposed.

So I’m not a hit when talk turns to entrepreneurship—where the sole meaning of life is to invent faster ways to sell spiritually unnecessary junk. Look around on the average university campus: students and faculty are nowadays cheerleaders for the selling of selling.

The great novel of American entrepreneurship is Moby Dick. Melville’s whaling ship is a factory, a corporate office, a floating university, a bureau of weights and measures, a start up, an engine seeking to supplant older engines, a mania. Melville looked unflinchingly into the brutal, neo-puritan heart of American capitalism and saw all its soul gobbling darkness.

Had Melville lived to see the electric lightbulb he’d have seen dead kings in the filaments.

Entrepreneurship is charm commodified. Everyone will win, become his or her own boss. Make money. Sail the seven seas in search of a poorly understood creature, which is materiality itself. But of course things, stones, whales, cloud formations, are not susceptible to our covetousness. And the college student who isn’t taught this will be as lost as Ahab.

And to conclude with Ahab, I’ve always liked this quote by D.H. Lawrence: “Moby Dick, the Great White Whale, tore off Ahab’s leg at the knee, when Ahab was attacking him. Quite right, too. Should have torn off both his legs, and a lot more besides.”

Donald Trump, the Pied Piper

I had a friend in college who, inexplicably, had a thing for Nazis. I say inexplicably because no one in his right mind should have what he had: it was a man crush, a sentimental admiration for testosterone regalia and Stukas. Fortunately he wasn’t violent and as far as I know he never drew swastikas on buildings. His fascination for the Third Reich was ingrown like entomology is for fifth graders.

Everyone do your own joke. What’s the difference between a Nazi and a bug? You only have to squash a bug once.

Adolescent masculine small “f” fascism is not, as is commonly supposed, a matter of wanton ignorance. It’s more a product of the perfervid boy-brain, still undergoing its development. Critical self-irony? None. Anger? You bet, because as the Little Prince knows, all authority figures are hateful. Why, if only he had a hundred Panzer divisions!

**

What’s the difference between a Nazi and a centipede? The centipede doesn’t wear boots.

What’s the difference between a Nazi and a skeleton? The skeleton has read Aristotle.

**

The poet Wallace Stevens wrote in one of his notebooks: “Man is an eternal sophomore.”

This is what I think when I see Trump’s arena supporters. They’re like my college pal but they never outgrew their admiration for Kingly murderers.

True adulthood is a purging of the world’s poverty and evil.

Trump is the Pied Piper of privileged and angry children.

Poets? What Are They Good For?

What if, all at once, I showed you
My head both inside and out,
If tricks of mind were as easy as talk?
We do of course live in a country of talk
Where shadows fall quickly over us
Where we lie from basic fright.

I love you, which is the truth,
But shiver my way to morning light
Where custom has no ardor.
No love, no truth in these United States.

My love, I can’t help it, I want
To be a poet whose lines house people—
Say that’s not a trick.
Our neighbors drown
In malevolence
And all I have are games.

Reading

Each day now I climb the branches of my private tree
Not as a child might, more like a scholar
Whose life has failed in the city
Whose friends vanished
Over the lake of the underworld.
“I know you,” I say to the beetle,
“I read your declensions,” I tell her.
The top of her back,
What they call “the carapace” is clean Braille.