Featured

Off the Page: Notebooks of an Occasional Optimist (A Rededication)

For almost twenty years this space has been called “Planet of the Blind”—a nod to my first memoir and, for a long time, an accurate description of its subjects: blindness, accessibility, the struggles of opposing ableism. That work isn’t done — it never will be — but the blog has quietly outlived its name. Over the years I’ve used this space to write about disability rights, but also about history, horror films, wordplay, literary biography, and the jottings of other writers. Its time for the title to reflect the writing.

So: welcome to “Off the Page”

I’ve always been drawn to the notebook as a form. Years ago I co-edited (with poets David Weiss and Deborah Tall)  “The Poet’s Notebook” for W.W. Norton, a collection of the fast jottings, marginalia, and half-formed thoughts that poets keep before a poem exists. There’s something clarifying about the notebook— unpolished, occasional, closer to thinking out loud than to argument. This blog has always worked that way too, even when I didn’t say so. A post about accommodation law sits next to a post about Bela Lugosi which in turn sits next to a fragment from an actual notebook. That miscellany was never a flaw. It was the point.

As for “occasional optimist” — I chose the phrase carefully. More than thirty years of working on accessibility at universities, watching the gap between institutional assurance and grassroots reality, teaches you not to be naive. Optimism, for me, isn’t a temperament so much as a discipline — something closer to what Gramsci meant by pessimism of the intellect, optimism of the will. I don’t expect things to go well. I do the work anyway, and every so often — reading a poem, watching a student’s reading habits change, standing at a lectern in a room full of people who came out for disability poetry on a summer night in Washington — I catch myself feeling something like hope. Occasional is the right word. Earned, not constant.

So this is still the same notebook it always was: kept in the old commonplace tradition of writing things down because they mattered enough, that day, to write down. The title’s new. The habit of attention behind it isn’t.

Thank you for reading, then and now.

— Stephen Kuusisto

Featured

Thank You Jeffrey Brown of PBS News Hour

Stephen Kuusisto to appear on PBS News Hour
Image: Logo of PBS News Hour

Tonight the PBS NewsHour will air a segment about my new book Have Dog, Will TravelThe piece features an interview with Jeffrey Brown whose reporting on literature and poetry is well known to book lovers across the nation. Jeffrey is also a poet whose first collection The News is available from Copper Canyon Press. In our time together we talked about poetry, civil rights, disability culture, dogs for the blind, the field of disability studies, and the power of literature to bring people together around social justice movements. And yes, there’s a lovely dog, Caitlyn, a sweetie pie yellow Labrador from Guiding Eyes for the Blind.

The program airs locally, in Syracuse at 7 PM. Check your local listings.

*****************************************************

Stephen Kuusisto and HarleyABOUT: Stephen Kuusisto is the author of the memoirs Have Dog, Will Travel; Planet of the Blind (a New York Times “Notable Book of the Year”); and Eavesdropping: A Memoir of Blindness and Listening and of the poetry collections Only Bread, Only Light and Letters to Borges. A graduate of the Iowa Writer’s Workshop and a Fulbright Scholar, he has taught at the University of Iowa, Hobart and William Smith Colleges, and Ohio State University. He currently teaches at Syracuse University where he holds a University Professorship in Disability Studies. He is a frequent speaker in the US and abroad. His website is StephenKuusisto.com.

Have Dog, Will Travel: A Poet’s Journey is now available:
Amazon
Prairie Lights
Grammercy Books
Barnes and Noble
IndieBound.org

Have Dog, Will Travel by Stephen Kuusisto

(Photo picturing the cover of Stephen Kuusisto’s new memoir “Have Dog, Will Travel” along with his former guide dogs Nira (top) and Corky, bottom.) Bottom photo by Marion Ettlinger 

On Being a Writer of Notebooks

And so you decide at last you’re a notebook jotter. It’s like finding at last you’re the inventor of scissors.

As for who invented scissors he or she lived in what we call, quaintly, ancient Egypt.

From Claude:

“The earliest known scissors were bronze, with two blades connected by a curved strip of metal that acted as a spring, holding the blades apart until pressed together.”

Picture the last scene of “Aida” where, instead of singing as the oxygen runs out, Radames and Aida wave spring loaded blades.

The notebook…back to girders above the city.

Insert here: I enjoy Sheila Heti’s “Alphabetical Diaries” which have as their incitement, lines from her journals:

“Keep a list of all the people you need to speak to, and read the books you need to read. Keep good track of your receipts. Keep in mind that none of these projects will make you any money. Keep it in a container, and publish only what has reached the next stage of accomplishment. Keep the energies in your body and contain them. Keep the house clean and neat, love him, love family and friends. Keep this paragraph which will ruin the whole entire thing. Keep this paragraph, this ugly worm that will eat all the papers and destroy it. Keep your eye on the distant, distant justification for all this. Killing evil thoughts. Knew it would only last a day. Knocked out my tooth this morning and can’t find my gold coin. Know how to love a man by knowing how to love writing. Know there is always an alternative to the situation, even being very babyish and all alone.”

Knocked out my tooth this morning and can’t find my gold coin. How excellent!

Charles Simic: “Brothers my teeth hurt/and I’ve no money/to have them fixed”.

Keep this paragraph which can ruine the whole entire thing.

I want you to understand me. I come from the region beyond the blurry pasture

The world is barbarous and filled with shadows

It’s proper to find a neutral spot where you can think about it.

It’s proper to picture scissors while sitting under a birch tree.

Keeping notebooks, that’s when no one owns you.

Here’s to the anti-capitalist diary.

Here’s to my mother’s laughter which, though she was a sad person, had a lovely wickedness.

Meanwhile, I have been in more than one ossuary on my travels. Skulls lined up like nouns for school children.

Don’t look at me ironically with your post-modern peepers.

The falling we will do ere long will be without end.

 

Bot Flies

I’ve spent the morning on the telephone with multiple businesses. They all use AI now having absented human beings from customer service. You’re instructed to ask a question and then the AI Bot employs a typing sound while it processes your question. I hate this. Instead of phony typing why not bad harmonica? Or a machine voice reciting every vice president of the United States?

After Heart Surgery

I am a writer of nonfiction and friends have suggested I should write about my recent heart attack. But write “what” exactly? I was in danger of dying. I had open heart surgery. I spent a long time recovering.

What’s more interesting is that having had coronary bypass surgery I’m not the same person.The cardiologist said it would be six or seven months before I’d begin to feel like myself. What he didn’t say is that there’s never a return to the former body—the one where you got up, bent over, tied your shoes and thought about berries. What he couldn’t tell me is that I’d feel alien in my body evermore, even after the most significant healing.

Because I’m legally blind I have tension headaches. My neck and shoulders and the muscles around my eyes turn hot and then they throb. I thought I knew pain. I thought post cardiac repair-life would be simple once I could walk.

Imagine, if you will, a pipe organ, all those pipes crying out. Inside my chest there’s a set of wires holding my sternum together. Its a compound structure and it sends signals in a kind of nerve damaged partita—a score for solo instrument. My surgical site remains sore. My sternum shifts when I lift a plate. My balance is shot. I drift sideways on the sidewalk. OK. I’m walking in circles with an apple in my hand, testing the waters of the next life. This is a way of being.

So its the metaphysics of post-surgery I’m after. I want post-reductionism. Meanwhile I take a lot of pills.

A Morning Journal About Monsters

If you think you’re the monster that’s alright
If you think you’re alright that’s monstrous
Let’s telephone the monster
“If you want to speak with the monster, press one…”

**
I was raised on moonbeams that came through a small window…

**

“What would an ocean be without a monster lurking in the dark? It would be like sleep without dreams.”

― Werner Herzog

**

Up early rummaging through the medieval stronghold of my skull
But I do it with confidence like a chess master

**

If you think you’re the monster that’s alright
It worked for Nietzsche

**

Sometimes when I call the monster I get Werner Herzog

**

The joke about the freak show is the monsters were at the edge of the fairground thriving on their emptiness

The “freaks” were just birds with damaged wings…
**

Oh come see the monster
Hurry…one slight bruise and he dies…

**

Michel Foucault thought he understood how monsters are made
He imagined they came from architecture and the bourgeois tendency to shuffle papers
He was a child of his age
Monsters need no scripts
They make and remake themselves from slivers of imaginary glass

**

Once while teaching at the University of Iowa I told graduate students that 90 per cent of the imagination is bad for you. I’m revising this to 95 per cent.

Eventually the monster’s tears turn into spectacles…

Yeats and the Monkey Gland

I was going to write about William Butler Yeats and the famous monkey gland transplant but it was the monkey I wanted to think about. Where did he come from? Did he have a name? Presumably they had to kill him. Did they sing to him as he died or read a poem? Maybe there was a sting quartet in the operating theater. If the monkey died while listening to music what would have been played? Did anyone interview the musicians afterwards? Maybe there were no musicians. Maybe they used gramophone records.

It turns out Yeats didn’t have a monkey gland transplant and the story is an urban myth. I was really disappointed. I wanted a genuine monkey to eulogize. I wanted to think about the monkey’s youth. Of course youthfulness is the sub-text: in his late sixties Yeats wanted his sexual drive restored. Instead of transplanted monkey glands he had a kind of vasectomy. He had his operation in Harley Street, London in April 1934. The surgeon was Norman Haire who was England’s foremost practitioner of a rejuvenation procedure pioneered by Eugen Steinbach, an Austrian physiologist who believed that modifying the sex glands could restore youthfulness. His British follower Dr. Haire was briefly famous as the restorer of men and was known to have operated on two hundred patients. Apparently he also performed the procedure—really a kind of vasectomy—on H.G. Wells.

No monkey. No string quartet. My speculative morning walk almost ruined…but where did the monkey story come from? In the early 20th century a doctor named Serge Vonoroff transplanted slices of monkey and baboon testicles into impotent men. For a time he was in such demand he started his own monkey farm in Italy. So there were monkeys. But not for Yeats. By the way, the word “monkey” never appears in Yeats’s poems.

Spinoza and the Cripples

Spinoza wanted to free God from mysticism. My friend X wants to free his wheelchair from superstition. The symbolic mind is the island we can’t escape. Disability figuration still comes in only three flavors: inspiration porn, evil cripples, or medical miracles. Notice than none of these has anything to do with disabled people themselves. This isn’t just an American problem. Neoliberalism long ago reignited the fuse of embodied inconveniences. Fascism of course has always loved this game. Spinoza: “Emotion, which is suffering, ceases to be suffering as soon as we form a clear and precise picture of it.” It is hard to get a clear and precise picture of disability when medical metaphors, social disdain and fear are rampant.

My Grandmother and Dynamite

My grandmother was the Mrs. Havisham of dynamite. About twice a year she’d go to the Laconia, New Hampshire Police Department and remind the cops she had roughly 200 crates of TNT in her cellar, and twice a year they patronized her with “yes, yes,” and “dear, dear” and “there, there” and that would be the end of it. But then one day she brought a box of decaying dynamite sticks into the station, plunked it down on the desk and said, “My husband loved dynamite, and he left me a house crammed with the stuff, and he’s been gone a long time, Christ, for all I know he’s in Dynamiter’s Heaven. But dynamite decays God dammit, and the whole house is going to blow the next time somebody rings the doorbell!”

It was the doorbell that got their attention.

The American Scowl

Americans think that people who scowl are really really smart. This is a result of the industrial revolution–the bosses grimaced and the working classes grimaced and after about fifty years of that kind of thing well, you don’t have to be Darwin to figure it out. Americans scowl as a means of protective coloration if you will. And since everyone is scowls (except news anchors) it’s impossible to employ social gravitas as a yardstick for stupid thoughts. Another way to put this is that everybody in America has stupid ideas and the grimace is the true embodiment of the social lie that something deep is going on under the surface.
The current putative president of the US is the Wizard of scowling. People keep asking on social media platforms and in the legacy press, “how did people vote for him?” And we hear all kinds of nearly true things: racism, owning the libs, misogyny, toxic men and their baby incels, lack of critical thinking, illiteracy, its a long list. But I tell you its the scowl. He scowls and lies about everything—and I don’t need to say any more. The scowl is his biggest snake oil trick. “I’m serious! America is being overrun by vermin people! Vandals got into my reflecting pool!”
All delivered with the moue of disgust that marks a good scowl. That mark of distrust and suspicion which good people find repulsive.