Learning From the Blind…

For years now I’ve been trying to convince people the world over that blindness is really nothing more than any other embodied thing like left handedness or shoe size. The obstacles to succeeding are many. The chief one is panic. People with sight imagine blindness to be a vast helplessness. As a guide dog traveler the number one question I’m asked by strangers—especially in airports—is: “will your dog protect you when you’re attacked?”

I’ll return to the dog in a moment. The question supposes vision loss renders one a walking victim. The assumption is sight is a defense mechanism. People devoured by bears are not saved by their vision nor are pedestrians who are struck by cars while texting, Seeing is not a guarantor of welfare.

Once on Fifth Avenue in New York City I asked two young men for directions to a nearby restaurant. I knew I was close. After telling me one of them said: “How can you go anywhere? I’d stay home if I was blind.” The other wanted to know if the dog does all the thinking for me.

Sighted people think seeing is more than believing they imagine it’s thought itself. When someone asks if the dog does my thinking they’re convinced that without sight I can’t possibly process the world. They think the blind live in a mineral blank. Not seeing is thought to be like living inside a stone.

In her excellent book “For the Benefit of Those Who See: Dispatches From the World of the Blind.” Rosemary Mahoney writes: “The blind are no more or less otherworldly, stupid, evil, gloomy, pitiable or deceitful than the rest of us. It is only our ignorance that has cloaked them in these ridiculous garments.”

I agree but wish to add that there’s something in the ophthalmic connection to the spinal column that connects seeing to falsifiable ideas about self preservation which in turn stand at the root fear of the sighted. This becomes: “can’t see, can’t think”—moreover not seeing is the inability move safely, a physical hijacking.

Mahoney does a great job in her book of showing how real blind people successfully navigate the world using their other senses and critical thinking skills.

Americans fear blindness more than almost anything including hearing loss, heart disease and cancer.

Not long ago while traveling with the US State Department I spoke with blind children in Kazakstan. We were in a segregated school for the blind. I said what you’d expect, that the blind can achieve their dreams, that there’s nothing we can’t do in today’s world. Afterwards I wept. One boy’s mother said to me, “how will my son ever get out of this school? People are afraid to be near him.”

The sighted need to pay attention. The blind don’t live inside rocks and we think just as well as anyone else. It’s amazing to still be saying this in the 21st century.

Back to the dog. She follows my instructions. Her job is to evaluate whether my commands are safe. She has a capacity for what the guide dog schools call “intelligent disobedience” which means she won’t step into harm’s way. I look after her, she looks after me. Which gets me to my final point. Blindness is never solitude in the frightful way the sighted imagine. We have friends canine and human. We live successfully in the world. If you shake my hand you won’t go blind. If you talk to me you might learn a few things.

Notebook, April 18, 2022

Landscape with Wallace Stevens

Wallace Stevens emerges from behind my house—
A new shrub in the grey, half dead forest
“Was that always there?” asks my wife
“No,” I say, “something’s awry”
“Rum ti tum, ti tum tum tum” says the bush

**

Stop kidding around
We’re too old fashioned for that
We’re poets
In the age of inspiration meets grief
The new pornography
Stop kidding around

**

The leaves whisper
Wallace Stevens at the organ
Cathedral waggles

**

Mithridates he died old

**

Unplanned and even the exquisite flowers
But not the Wallace Stevens bush

**

I went to the lutier’s house
Where Segovia shopped—
Where a thin light
Lit the instruments
And hinted of music to come

**

Renga renga renga
Ghost of Basho
Backing up

**

I like the Swedish word for funeral
As it means to be be-grieved
“Funeral” is a word of uncertain origin

**

Meanwhile
I’m happy to sell you a spray
From the Stevens shrub
A hydrangea that talks endlessly
Of its unseen flowers

At the Edges- Notebook

sometimes my ears were bitter
when the birds had flown away

cold sphinx on the bookshelf
blind kid thinking about

the speed
of the moon—

thinking
of dead silence

he’d so much time
on his hands

cherry trees
glints of sunshine

which he saw
at the edges

**

butterfly wings–fluttering
under the spell
of every life
that is born

**

sospiri…
resting tired eyes
on piano keys

**

there “were” good afternoons
the Great Caruso and Helen Keller—

the tenor guiding her fingers
across his throat as he sang
As with so many things
The fierce beauties…

**

snow journey
humming on a train
a stranger tells me
the moon is full

Letter

To sit in public writing while blind
Is an art project—“look at him
What’s he doing? Why, he’s
Writing! What a miracle!
A blind man pens a note!
Who’s he writing to?
Another blind person of course…”

Meanwhile he scribbles
Recalling Amichai’s line
About building a ship
And a harbor
In the same instant
Yes and he drops some tears
Which will dry slowly

Notebook, April 14, 2022

When the Old Times Call

Walking this morning
I thought of my
Great grandfather
Who sawed boards
For coffins
In the far north…

He looked at trees
In varied ways…

**

A Short Story

Night confession is hard and long
Watching the exhaust
From the car in front of you
Mile after mile…

**

For the simple reason
That many may think otherwise
I listen to my blind eyeballs

**

Hawks get rowdy with each other in the woods
But misery has a shrewder voice

Moon setting
in the autumn morning, dips
like a vessel
Glides like a sail through heaven

**

Immanence and impermanence–my brothers
I think hard about you
Two crickets outside Water falls on my wrist
When I wash a cup

**

In short: every ritual should astonish human arrangements

* 

Dear Blue: I wasn’t really a blind child at all, but one of the ghosts who rang Strindberg’s doorbell

**

I like Beethoven’s last string quartets
I like broken windows in abandoned country houses
I like crows on telephone wires
And Boolean Algebra and rain in winter

What If Higher Education Imagined Disability as Being Valuable in Our Economy?

Disability has meant for me a life of painful encounters. From childhood right up until yesterday (today will have to wait) people in authority have told me that my blindness is a problem—my efforts to get a Ph.D. in literature were crushed by faculty at the University of Iowa who didn’t like my requests for additional time to read books; my presence in public school pre-ADA was a relentless horror show; life as a faculty member in American universities has meant a nearly continuous struggle for the most basic accommodations as if groveling and beseeching administrators and fellow faculty to help me gain access is appropriate and to be expected. If you’re disabled in the world of higher education and you want dignity you should go somewhere else. And of course there is nowhere else. There’s no utopian place for disability in this society.

Like a farmer who looks for signs that autumn seeds are coming up in spring I look for progress. Corporations and businesses in these United States are starting to imagine disability as not only important, but lucrative, which is to say there’s some hope. Hope is essential of we’re ever going to reduce the shameful unemployment rates of disabled people in this country and abroad. Joblessness in the disability community still hovers around 70%. I suspect the figure might be microscopically lower when we consider the disabled workers who hide their disabilities in the workplace. I know of a professor right now who is hiding her disability so she can get tenure. Ableism is ugly, monolithic, cruel, and yes, soul crushing. But there’s hope.

The Disability Employment First Planning Tool created by a consortium of advocacy organizations and which is designed to help businesses take active steps toward hiring employees with disabilities is one such sign of hope. Organizations like OurAbility in New York are using AI to help applicants and employers connect.

But much more needs to be done. In particular colleges and universities need to take up disability employment as a focus area. Let’s “lose” the 1970’s model of grudging accommodations for disabled students and promote disability “maker’s spaces” entrepreneurship, and yes, the advantages of our rapidly changing technologies.

I for one would like to see the university where I currently teach (Syracuse) develop a disability and entrepreneurship program. It would be lead by the disabled following the model of “nothing about us without us”—that wonderful slogan for the disability rights movement; the disabled should be in charge. There is currently no program in the US at any college or university that supports and promotes disability leadership and entrepreneurship.

Hope. Spring seeds perhaps?

Crip Time Meditation Number one

I love the idea—the truth—of “crip time”—that cripples work differently and the time in which they work is largely in contradistinction to normal people’s 9-5 clocks. It’s a truly utopian insistence.

And walking blind, getting places early or late I think of just how many historical figures have ruined utopian thinking. Vladimir Lenin took a good blueprint and turned it into a prescription for murder.

So I want crip time to change how we work, especially in these malodorous United States where almost everyone suffers from brutal exhaustion feeding the monster.

That’s it for now.

Off to get a haircut.

A nice Utopian cut.

Time to throw away the wool cap.

What if I told you

Cripples have hearts inside their hearts
Think of the worm inside the thistle
Think of old prayers stuck on the walls
Prayers seen by the rarest of children
Think of memories holding out
Against the sluiced days
Of cruelties and shattered glass
There “were” good afternoons
Often they were spent alone
As it was with me—
Blind in the attic
With a Victrola
You’ve everything you’ll need.
I held a picture book
An inch from my face
To see Caruso with Helen Keller
The tenor gently guiding her fingers
Across his throat as he sang
Deep in the heart
Inside the heart
Rain now passes over
The cripple rain
Which will produce
Hearts and hearts
But always with
Smaller hidden ones
As with so many things
The fierce beauties…

Like Being a Child

It was a bad day
Birds were sick
The river stood on its legs
A wickedness roiled us
Between pages—
A short pause
While goodness reassembles—
That’s what we told ourselves
No wonder children
Looked at us
As if we were cruel to animals
“We’re innocent,” we said,
“We didn’t make this world”
But it was a bad day
Grief was in every detail
We never caught a glimpse
Of God’s hands