Pre-surgical Anxiety Department

Tomorrow I’m having major eye surgery. Briefly, I dislodged the artificial lens in my right eye and it needs to be removed and replaced. In the world according to custom this should be easy but I have severely damaged retinas in both eyes—this is why I’m blind to begin with. The procedure will be tricky. I joke about it. “If I lose the eye I’ll wear an eye patch and get a parrot…”

All surgery is risky. And while this isn’t as precarious as many operations, my anxiety levels are “elevated.”

Anxiety stands flickering in the sunlight.
Anxiety accuses me of what I’ve never become.
It flies in the mind like excited birds.

Ableism, or, Shaming the Shamers

Ableism doesn’t have to be conscious. Like racism, homophobia, misogyny, it works from a set of assumptions. The first is that disability is someone else’s problem—a holdover from Victorian society which created specialized hospitals and asylums for the disabled. In higher education they still believe there should be a sequestered office that “handles” disability which in turn means most deans, faculty, and administrators have a collective view that the disabled are both a problem and they belong to someone else. Professor Jay Dolmage’s book “Academic Ableism” provides a clear overview of how this dynamic works.

Another assumption is that all disabled people are singular—they’re all medical problems—defective patients who couldn’t be cured. This medical model of disability creates a set of cascading metaphors, the most insidious of which is the idea that a student, staff member, even a visitor with with a disability needing an accommodation is a solitary, individual “problem” which in turn means they’re not respected and valued. We hate problem people in America.

I’ve been asking for accessible websites and digital teaching platforms at Syracuse University for well over a decade. Imagine! Asking for accommodations that are required under the Americans with Disabilities Act and getting nowhere! And yes, rather than fix the problems, many in the administration have labeled me as a malcontent.

This is when ableism becomes a conscious thing. When you say that the disabled who are true advocates for inclusion are problematic you’re making a choice.

I am hereby shaming faculty everywhere who make such choices.

Aristotle’s Fingerprints

Don’t worry, there’s plenty of the broken heart to go around
I would not tell you if it wasn’t so
The trick of poetry is attention

Look at the dish I serve this on
in the Wedgewood
Aristotle’s finger prints…

**

The vatic voice really isn’t for me
I’ve too much fidelity with truth
For instance: coins are the enemies of arthritis
The barometer has killed more indigenous people
than can be counted…

**

Come on now, leave the ponies alone…

* 

Life freed of ideas about life, which is of course life itself…

**

Wind in the alders. A mourning dove. Rain on the roof.
The grownups asleep.
And the little dog keeps track of things at the window.