By now you’ve seen it: George W. Bush remarked yesterday at the White House that Queen Elizabeth II "helped us celebrate our nation’s bi-centennial in 17….1976." WINK. The Queen was not amused. She shot "W" a withering look. The Prez in turn made a joke about how the Queen looked like a disapproving mother.
And that’s W’s whole problem. I realized this morning that he’s been pushed around by his mother all his life. And everybody knows that Barbara Bush is a mean girl all grown up.
A grown up mean girl differs from a teen M.G.in two important ways: 1. She’s outlived her daddy and probably she’s outlasted her tough old mommy too. So she’s not arguing anymore about how to raise the kids. And 2: An "old mean girl" believes that Ozzie Osborne’s practice of biting the heads off of live birds is merely amateur behavior. Back home and in secret the Queen regularly bites the heads off of her kitchen staff and you can look it up.
When she was First Lady Barbara Bush tried to cover up how mean she was by making her dog write a book. That’s of course a famous "mean girl" trick: "I’ll be your friend if you do my homework and I’ll even let you stand next to my next best friend at the prom."
Poor President Bush. People have speculated that his impoverished speaking style and his apparent inability to grasp details may have something to do with a secret learning disability. But it’s now clear that he’s an "adult child of an old mean girl"–a largely unexamined condition but one which most likely affects millions of conservative men. I’ll bet Trent Lott has a mean old Mama. Can you even begin to imagine Dick Cheney’s mother?
It’s no wonder that George W. Bush stumbled during his introduction what with that archetypal mean old girl looking him up and down. He thought for a moment that he was back home in Kennebunkport watching Barbara Bush bite the head off a songbird.
S.K.
Planet of the Blind 
Well, think about Dick Cheney’s wife. I think she has Barbara beat hands down.
One of my dear childhood friends grew up with a Mean Old Mom. When somebody beat up my friend or her brother, the mother would then go and beat them up. Honest.
— Georgia
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“Can you even begin to imagine Dick Cheney’s mother?”
HA!! Thankfully I can’t… Great post!
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Yeah.
And she’d:
– Think nothing of chastising your mother if she (Old Mean Girl of a mother) thought she saw you running through the neighbor’s strawberry patch.
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Hallmarks of visiting the home of a childhood friend with an Old Mean Girl of a mother:
– Neatly arranged pairs of shoes in the foyer, as no shoes are permitted on the carpet.
– Store-brand ginger ale.
– No reservations about punishing you right along with her son.
– No reservations about punishing the neighbor kids, either.
– Father bunkered away in basement or den.
– Thermostat permanently set at freezing.
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“Also, “Can you even begin to imagine Dick Cheney’s mother?”
I agree with BG. Dick Cheney has no mother and is merely some petro-chemical creation. Has anyone ever seen his navel? I’ll bet he hasn’t got one.
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I make a mean potato salad. And don’t even get me started on my deviled eggs.
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Not before we meet ohdave. We need to come up with a plan. We have until the middle of August…
BlueGirl, are you listening?
I’m thinking a picnic. Here. Worthington, OH. Late July, early August. Pot-luck? An inexpensive catered affair? The Radisson, soon to be Holiday Inn, is a block away for out-of-towners…
Any thoughts?
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I’m crushed that you are leaving. If you keep up the blog it’ll be some consolation. And send me a review copy of your next tome.
As an OSU alum I’m disappointed that we couldn’t keep you, but happy for your success.
When are you moving?
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This is a great post. And I think is more on the money than any other explanation of The Commander Guy I’ve ever read. Never really believed he’s been hitting the bottle again or that he’s got that dry drunk syndrome. Don’t even believe that he’s all that religious and that he thinks God is telling him what to do. I don’t think he’s deep enough to truly even believe in anything like that. I think he’s just an empty shell. I’ve never thought much of the learning disability theory either.
But, I *do* believe he’s got “Adult Child Of An Old Mean Girl” Syndrome. That mean as a snake mother of his is one piece of work. I can’t stand her. How did/does Pres Bush 41 put up with her? He’s never seemed to *fit* with her to me. The first Pres Bush always seemed like a decent man to me.
Anyway. Just a couple more things.
Must you refer to George W. as “President” Bush? To hear or read that title related to that name still pains me after all these years.
Also, “Can you even begin to imagine Dick Cheney’s mother?”
Oh my God. I never even considered that that man ever even had one! LOL!
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