How to Write Able-ist Prose

I once knew a disabled (insert "Man" "Woman" "Child" HERE).

He was always (insert "upbeat" ""grateful" or "a real inspiration" HERE).

He or She never had a problem like (insert topical news story—e.g. "being dumped from a wheelchair" or "losing a job because of impairment" or "being denied access to a public facility" etc.).

Illustrative disabled person never understood (insert "these mooches and leeches" or "whining addicts of victim hood").

Illustrative disabled person would often say: (insert "Everything’s okay if you keep a song in your heart" or "I don’t know what ‘these people are griping about.")

Finally, you say: "There you have it. My disabled friend (who was a cross between Mr. Rogers and Tiny Tim) was always, until his last day on earth, dismayed—no more than dismayed, he was ‘gob smacked’ by the insufferable voices of the rest of them.  Amen."

Final note: You will always find a major newspaper or magazine outlet for this essay. It works every time.

Final final note: You don’t really have to know a disabled person to write this. In fact it’s an impediment. It’s always best to draw cartoons. (Insert "Mr. McGoo" HERE).

S.K.

Author: stevekuusisto

Poet, Essayist, Blogger, Journalist, Memoirist, Disability Rights Advocate, Public Speaker, Professor, Syracuse University View all posts by stevekuusisto