From our West Coast Correspondent: Chick-Fil-A & Jesus

We are pleased to introduce Andrea Scarpino our West Coast “Bureau Chief” who will be sending us posts from time to time. We are delighted to have her on our roll of contributors.

S.K.   

“Chick-Fil-A and Jesus”  

by Andrea Scarpino

Los Angeles, California

I forgot my iPod and headphones at home. That much was my fault. Wearing headphones is a very clear social signal that a person isn’t interested in talking. And I tend to smile too much, which friends tell me makes me look much more eager to converse with strangers than I really am. But when I boarded my flight home after a writing conference, I brought out the stack of student papers I planned on grading during the four and a half hour flight and hoped the man next to me would get the hint. Of course, he didn’t.

American men often assume women are eager to hear their every thought, no matter if the woman in question is a family member or stranger. And I smile too much. So my row mate on the plane started asking me questions about Los Angeles, about whether or not I like to eat at Chick-Fil-A restaurants. It turns out he was flying with 1,400 other Chick-Fil-A franchise owners from around the country to attend their annual conference in Long Beach, a conference at which Rick Warren was going to speak and the 80-something year old founder of Chick-Fil-A would be present to unveil new product lines.

So I gave in and talked awhile between papers, asked the man questions about his franchise and how Chick-Fil-A was faring with the downturn in the economy (he says quite well). When he asked me if there’s a Chick-Fil-A restaurant near my house, I told him that I’m vegetarian, so probably wouldn’t have noticed if there were. I don’t think so, I said, but I don’t really know. Then the conversation turned to Jesus. I went back to a paper, but my row mate spoke even as I wrote comments to my students. He goes on missions to Romania, sets up projectors in the middle of jungles to show children movies about Jesus’ life. He clearly wants to do well in the world, but didn’t explain how showing children films in the middle of a jungle would help improve their lives. If, in fact, their lives need improving. That wasn’t even clear.

I finished my grading and tried to look enthralled with the Sky Mall catalogue in my seat pocket, cursing myself for forgetting my iPod and headphones. The pilot announced our initial descent into Los Angeles, and my row mate began rooting around in his carryon bag. Billy Graham has a church near you, he said, handing me a pamphlet called, “Steps to Peace with God.” You should really go check it out. And here are some Chick-Fil-A free meal cards. He handed me three cards to receive a free Chicken Sandwich Meal complete with Waffle Potato Fries and a medium soft drink. Didn’t I already tell this guy I was vegetarian? I thanked him, took the Jesus pamphlet and cards.

And now, the question I ask myself: why didn’t I politely tell the man I didn’t want to talk? I just finished a conference with 5,000 writers and was tired of schmoozing with strangers and old friends. Why did I worry about hurting his feelings or ego? Of course, I know the answer: I’ve been trained as a woman to take men seriously, to listen when they talk, even if I have work to do, don’t eat at their restaurants and don’t want to hear about Jesus while hurtling through space in a metal cylinder 30,000 feet above the ground. I’m trained to listen, smile nod. And I do it well. My row mate, of course, doesn’t. He didn’t listen when I said I’m vegetarian, didn’t listen to my body language when I kept returning to my student papers, didn’t listen to my silence around his Jesus-talk. Women are taught to listen to men, and men are taught to ignore women. Even my row mate’s free Chick-Fil-A coupons didn’t listen: they’re only good in Florida. I live in LA.

Andrea Scarpino is the West Coast Bureau Chief of POTB and the author of a brand new chapbook of poems. Visit her at: www.andreascarpino.com

Author: stevekuusisto

Poet, Essayist, Blogger, Journalist, Memoirist, Disability Rights Advocate, Public Speaker, Professor, Syracuse University View all posts by stevekuusisto