By now everyone knows that Sarah Palin (who is the putative governor of Alaska and a former Republican Vice Presidential candidate) likes to be photographed in the company of dead or dying animals.
This is what anthropologists call “a primary need” and what the heck–so what she needs dead critters to feel the sparkle of her inner life?
Liberals and moderates should try to understand this. You see, dead things have a radio-theric quality–that is, they give off minute electrostatic signals that only the most rarefied human beings can receive. These special human beings who I will call “Dead- Flesh Radio Receptive Hominids” are actually healed of illnesses when they are surrounded by defunct animals.
IN ancient times such people were called “stay at home moms” since the men would bring the bounty of the hunt back to the cave and some of the women would leap to their feet (where formerly they had been nearly comatose in the dank and bosky darkness) and they would be restored to giggling animation.
Men can experience the therapy of dead critters as well. Apparently men can also experience the joy of dead fish. Women don’t seem to care for dead fish. Some scientists believe that men are related to dogs but that’s another story.
When Sarah Palin leans back on a dead bear she is being healed. My Finnish grandmother could tell you about the benefits of rubbing yourself with a cat’s skin. Its nothing. Its just like aspirin.
All those blue state people who think Sarah Palin is trying to be Caribou Barbie or a mega-biker-chick are missing the point.
Sarah Palin has gout.
S.K.
Planet of the Blind 