On Seeing Afresh

I have been absent from our blog for the past five days because on Friday, May 22 I underwent cataract surgery at the University of Iowa's Ophthalmology Clinic. My surgery was performed by Dr. Tom Oetting who is a widely esteemed cataract specialist. He removed a cataract from my left eye which, post-surgery he allowed was one of the worst he's ever seen. It looked like a black jelly bean all curled up in its little plastic container. My wife Connie couldn't bear to look at it and though he offered it as a memento we urged Dr. Oetting to keep the thing. Connie suggested helpfully that he might want to put it beside the brain marked "Abby Normal."

In an age when having cataract surgery is as common as having one's teeth cleaned I should say that Dr. Oetting was indeed playing with Abby Normal. I believe its safe to say that a considerable majority of American cataract surgeons view their craft as a utility for the restoration of perfect sight. Ophthalmology departments drive this idea mercilessly by means of statistics: "We have restored 20/20 vision in 98 % of our cataract surgeries" is a phrase one often hears. Many cataract specialists will view a procedure as a failure if the patient only has 20/30 vision post-surgery. (If you aren't familiar with the numbers, 20/30 vision is correctable with glasses or contact lenses and possessing such trappings a person could conceivably play major league baseball.)  (Alright, I take that back. Very few people can play major league baseball because hitting a fastball is harder than driving a cement truck through the eye of a cow. So I'm wrong with the baseball analogy. But you get my point.)

In my case our hope was that we could restore 20/200 vision in the eye–a level of seeing that's known as "legally blind". When we say that phrase it means that 20/200 is what you can see "with" your glasses. (Lots of people will say that they're legally blind "without" their glasses but that's simply untrue. If your vision is correctable by means of glasses or contact lenses then you are not legally blind even if without your specs you're helpless.)

The University of Iowa's Ophthalmology clinic is a different kind of place. The physicians at Iowa believe that giving someone 20/200 vision is a huge improvement over having next to nothing. And indeed that's what I was "down to" in my left eye. I was barely able to detect hand motion.

Although I had cataracts in both eyes we chose to operate on the left one first because it was always my "better" eye–in boyhood it was the eye that allowed me to see things up close.

Dr. Oetting wasn't doubtful or pessimistic about our chances of success. While that's certainly a good thing when contemplating surgery I had been to see several cataract specialists over a fifteen year span who were not sanguine about the potential outcome. This is because I have what's called "retinopathy of prematurity" and accordingly I have scarred and mal-formed retinas. Any surgical procedure carries with it the risk of unintended outcomes and with ROP one such outcome was the possibility that my retina might detach–a retina that would be incredibly difficult to repair.

So I represented a tough surgical challenge and yes I was the kind of challenge that lots of ophthalmology departments wouldn't bother with. Even if we were successful I wouldn't improve that bell curve.

But the difference between no vision and having legal blindness is an immense chasm if you will. A legally blind person can read magnified print, use a hand held telescope to read a street sign, see the faces of his loved ones, watch television if he's sitting close to the screen. Over the past 8 years I had not been able to do any of these things. I had put them aside like the other memories of youth. That's what one does. I was more blind than I used to be and that, as they say, "was that".

Dr. Oetting removed the cataract for sure and  five days later I'm seeing some amazing stuff even though the eye is swollen and I have 12 stitches around the implanted lens. I saw my neighbor across the street waving one of those plastic bubble wands for his 4 year old daughter and I watched as she tried to catch those soap bubbles in the Iowa wind. I've been able to see the true colors of the world, the blues and reds and oranges and yellows are back. They keep astonishing me. My clothes have colors. Who knew? My guide dog Nira, a yelow Labrador has rich swirls of honey colored designs going to toffee going to cream. My wife is skinnier than she claims to be. And she has the nicest smile. There are red winged blackbirds and robins and ducks in my yard. Sure: I'm seeing these things imprecisely. But they are announcing themselves. My brain is flooding with  its own black currant vodka and midnight sunlight.

The eye still hurts of course. Its raw, itchy, makes little pin prick sensations when I move it. It will be some little while before it settles down. Some stitches will dissolve. Others will have to be taken out. I get tired. But there's a red winged blackbird beside the lilacs and though I don't see him clearly I know he's there. He's dancing like Jimmy Durante.

S.K.

Note: if you are of strong persuasion and would like to see a video of my cataract surgery click on the link below.

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=110217361140

Author: stevekuusisto

Poet, Essayist, Blogger, Journalist, Memoirist, Disability Rights Advocate, Public Speaker, Professor, Syracuse University View all posts by stevekuusisto