Cleanliness is Next to Love

 

by Laura Castle

We’ve all heard the phrase, “Cleanliness is Next to Godliness.” I don’t know about that, but it is certainly next to self-respect and comfort!  Having grown up with filth so disgusting that visitors to my childhood home muttered “filthy pigs, how can anyone live like this?” as they fled, I am intensely aware of the difference a reasonably clean home makes in every area of life–the reaction of others to us, how we feel about ourselves, our level of comfort and even our safety.

In homes with children, a filthy house is considered to be child neglect. Filth contributes to disease, cleanliness promotes health. As children, my brothers and sisters and I had severe, recurring boils which our father would worsen by popping and squeezing as we screamed in pain. I am sure these boils resulted from the bacteria in our filthy home.  When I was ten years old, I went almost a full year without taking a bath, because I could not bear to get into the stopped-up filthy tub with decaying bugs floating on top. I remember the shame and horror I felt, knowing that children were supposed to bathe every day, yet being unable to force myself into the horrible tub. This combined with a terror of being trapped in the bathroom with a father who had no sense of privacy (our bathroom door did not fully close, much less lock) made me a dirty, unkempt little girl indeed. My parents did not notice or care that I did not bathe, but I was bullied unmercifully in school because of my appearance (and probably my smell).

For years into my  adulthood, I carried on the pattern of filth that I grew up with – dirty dishes and spills all over the kitchen, unwashed clothes covering the floor,  cockroaches as big as a man’s thumb swarming through the house. Let’s not even go into how my bathroom looked. I lived alone as no one could bear to room with me. But, as depression and anxiety forced me to look for ways to heal myself, I discovered the miracle of cleanliness in my late twenties. One day, inspired by a book, I spent the entire day scrubbing, washing, straightening, dusting and organizing. By the end of the day, my home was clean enough that a visitor could walk in without disgust. That day began a new life for me as I discovered the joy and pride that cleanliness can bring.

Over the years, I have accumulated housekeeping tips from books, videos and websites. My housekeeping has continued to improve as I learned, for example, that bugs love to congregate under refrigerators and ovens looking for crumbs, so I move these appliances frequently to keep the critters away.

The safety aspect of a clean home is particularly vital when there are children present or any kind of disability in a family member. As the wife of a man with walking and balance problems, I have learned the importance of keeping floors clean, uncluttered and dry. . . And yes, Paul takes an equal share in the housework and this column is intended just as much for men as for women.

Attention to cleanliness is such a lovely aspect of self-care and, in my case anyway. a better antidote to anxiety and depression than any pill I could ever take.These devastating  emotions are caused by a feeling of not having control over our lives. But the way we keep our home is one area in which we do have total control. No, a house does not stay clean, especially when there are children and pets present, but it can always be made clean again.
I have learned that cleanliness is so much more than just the absence of filth. It is a comfort, a haven, a safety net, and most of all, a way of showing love for ourselves and others. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go wash this morning’s breakfast dishes!

 

Laura Castle lives in Florida and writes on issues of child abuse. She is a frequent commentator on POTB.