By Andrea Scarpino
Los Angeles
I wasn’t raised with very much religion even though my father was a devout Catholic. I lived with my mother growing up and she was mostly Quaker, although we sometimes went to an Episcopal church. I remember going to midnight Mass on Christmas Eve just once as a child, and I participated in church youth groups only sporadically. One summer, I went to Vacation Bible School with a friend whose father was a minister. What I remember most about Bible School was our challenge to memorize all Ten Commandments; kids who could recite them all word for word won tickets to a baseball game. I really wanted those tickets but I just couldn’t bother to commit the Commandments to memory.
To this day, I couldn’t recite all Ten Commandments if my life depended on it, and even though I was given a copy of the Koran, I’ve never gotten past reading the back cover. I just don’t seem to be religiously inclined, which makes this time of year especially tricky. I’ve had Jewish and Pagan and Buddhist friends who celebrate Christmas because they like the presents, and presents are a definite plus, but the crazy consumerist bent associated with Christmas makes me uncomfortable. All the products I’m told I should buy to look “right” for the holidays, all the made-in-sweatshops-in-China gifts I’m told will show people how much I love them. The wastefulness of wrapping paper and plastic packaging and disposable trees, of one more electronic gift to replace last year’s perfectly usable electronic gift.
This year, I only bought gifts for a small handful of relatives and I asked for time instead of presents. A dinner together, maybe, or an afternoon chatting. My brother and his family visited several weeks ago, and we shared some lovely meals together, went ice skating, walked around Santa Monica. Last week, I went to Jennifer and Colleen’s apartment to make cookies. We ate dinner and baked and watched TV and their dog was super cute and I ate so much chocolate I had trouble sleeping. This week, I’m hoping to drive around the city with Zac to look at garish light displays, to catch up with friends over coffee and drinks, to eat Christmas dinner with Jennifer and Colleen. To share time, in other words.
And this is the first Christmas season in many years that I haven’t felt the stress of pleasing everyone, of buying just the perfect gift. Instead, I’ve been relishing the joy of friendships, of cooking, of conversation, of sunshine in December, of living in Southern California a little longer. Maybe this just demonstrates my selfishness—maybe my friends would prefer a gift over spending time with me. But this is one of the best holiday seasons I’ve had in a long while. The word “holiday” derives form the words “holy days” after all. And spending time with the people I love feels as holy as my non-religious self can feel.
Andrea Scarpino is the west coast Bureau Chief of POTB. You can visit her at:
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