Gidget Goes Hawaiian

 

Nira at the beach

 

Well not really. We should admit we believe Gidget Goes Hawaiian is the worst movie ever made. We should be serious. The photo above shows guide dog Nira on the beach outside my writing studio at The Hermitage. She’s watching a blue heron. She’s on a leash because I don’t want her to vanish in a rip tide. I don’t want anyone to vanish in a rip tide. But I digress.

 

Walking early this morning along the shore I thought about the horrid beach movies from my childhood. Beach Blanket Bingo; the Elvis movies; Lordy, Lordy! Were we really that stupid? Oh do not answer my friends. We were very stupid. At least the music was better than the movies in those days. Thank God for Connie Francis.

The blue heron took me out of this. I went from Gidget to the pre-cambrian in a nano. The blue heron loiters by the fishermen, eats their sausage bits. Nothing is as it seems.

NIra did not chase the heron. She sized it up. She envied the sausage.

 

S.K. 

0 thoughts on “Gidget Goes Hawaiian

  1. I keep coming back to this pix. The leash, the ocean, the dog-shadow. It’s perfection. Nira’s doppelganger is the black dog in “The Angriest Dog in the World” commic strip. http://www.davidlynch.de/chevalangry2.jpg The strip always has the same five frames. The first is the intro, which is always: “The dog who is so angry he cannot move. He cannot eat. He cannot sleep. He can just barely growl…bound so tightly with tension and anger, he approaches the state of rigor mortis.” The next three frames always show the same scene: a fenced backyard with a spare bedroom window and back wall of a house to the right of the picture. Beyond the fence in the back of the scene are factory smokestacks expelling plumes of smoke. At the base of the bedroom window is the dog’s water and food dish, and the stake to which the dog is tied. At the absolutely end of the incredibly taut leash is the black dog. All head and teeth with a cartoon ballon that indicates a low, continuous, inaudible growl. The fifth frame is the same scene at night. The smokestacks are replaced by a crescent moon. A swath of light illuminuates the section of backyard where the stake and food dishes are. The dog is engulfed in the black of the night but with the same inaudible growl. The reader perspective is as if we’re watching over the sideyard fence from the house next door. Usually there are comments emanating from unseen people in the bedroom. The strip in the link has the comment, “If everything is real, then nothing is real as well.”

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  2. Hi Georgia,
    Oh yeah! Lassie!!! In our home, Lassie started at 7pm on Sunday, and Walt Disney’s Wonderful World of Color at 7:30. We had to be in our PJs if we wanted to watch them. I’d rush around like crazy trying to get those PJs on, and usually plunck down in front of the TV just as the Lassie music started. Then I would always, immediately, burst into tears. That music let me know right away that Lassie and Timmie were just going to have all sorts of difficult and sad things going on, and I might as well start crying at the beginning to warm myself up.

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  3. Well, maybe because I know Nira will read this blog, I’m saying Lassie was my favorite:
    Lassie: Barkbarkbarkbarkbark!
    Adult human: What’s that, Lassie? You say Timmy was abducted?
    Lassie: Barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark!
    Adult human: By a white male between the ages of 25 and 30, blond, about 6 feet tall?
    Lassie: Barkbarkbark!
    Adult human: And the license number of the car was 357RG5?
    But I digress.
    I, too, loved Sea Hunt. And Sky King. I have blotted the abysmal movies of that era from my mind, with the possible exception of The Blob which was so awful it was funny. And remember, that era also gave us a bunch of really fine Hitchcock stuff…

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  4. SK, research shows that rip tides pull people wearing water wings out to sea 30% faster than those without, especially when the person has a retriever in tow who’s paddling furiously seaward to retrieve God-Only-Knows-What.
    Beach Blanket Bingo! Gag and barf! And Connie Francis was NOT a redemptive feature of the Gidget flicks. You probably watched Elvis Presley’s Blue Hawaii, too. The only reason my friends & I would watch these movies was if the local real estate agents had the poor judgment to show them in their free Summer movie series for kids. We only attended in order to throw jelly beans at the screen during the love scenes.
    Sea Hunt. This was my idea of oceanic bliss on film. Mike Nelson (Lloyd Bridges, father of Jeff & Beau) was so very, very smart and cool and hyper-ethical. He had an undersea camera and knew everything about kelp. And he looked terrific in his little white swim trunks and deck shoes. OK, OK, I admit that I was also a Gilligan’s Island junkie. But do you or any of your seven other blog readers know how to remedy traumatic brain injury severe enough to cause amnesia when a person gets hit on the head with a coconut? You’d probably only know if you’d seen the remedy repeated on just about every other episode for the 98-episode run of Gilligan’s Island.

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