The Unknown Woman Who Grabbed My Ass

I was attending a University of Iowa football game when it happened. An ass grabbing woman groped me while I was standing in the hot chocolate line. There were a lot of people in that hot chocolate line because the weather was very cold. The Iowa fans looked larger and pinker than usual. (And that's saying something, for this is the epicenter of oversized pink people.)
She grabbed my booty with both hands, swayed for a second, then walked briskly away.
My friend Gary was with me. I looked his way and said: "That woman just grabbed me arse!"
A woman who was next to us said: "I saw that! She definitely grabbed it!"
We speculated, ever so briefly as to why a stranger would grab my ass, sway like a tango dancer and then run away. What kind of fetish might that be? How does she decide to strike?
O the languages we share which prove what we are! Yes, my ass was a clean slate. Do you suppose that strange woman works for the TSA?
S.K.

Author: stevekuusisto

Poet, Essayist, Blogger, Journalist, Memoirist, Disability Rights Advocate, Public Speaker, Professor, Syracuse University View all posts by stevekuusisto