Hugging my Whopee Cushion in the Basement

If I hear one more talking head explain the predicament of Mitt Romney, or the evident disatisfaction of the “conservative wing” of the GOP, I’m going to explode like a microwaved whoopee cushion. Clearly it’s time for me to turn off the TV. Yes, it’s time for me to head for the bunker, the man cave, the solarium, the scullery–anywhere there’s megatheric silence. My whopee cushion is full of microwaves. I’m about to burst from the effects of social lies. 

There’s no such thing as the “conservative wing” of the GOP. To call the “Tea Party” a conservative wing is like calling “Joe the Plumber” a statesman–you can do it, but if you have more than a modicum of wits you know it’s a lie. And yet, and yet, every single TV network and cable news channel pretends that Mitt Romney’s problem is a conservative problem–when in point of fact, it’s a nutbag problem. And poor Romney, caught in the lie himself, continues rotating like a rotisserie chicken. 

That the Tea Party factions actually sound like the Taliban is old stuff, especially in the progressive blogosphere, but the virtual absence of this assessment from pundit land is telling, because the reporting on Romney continues to depend on the fiction that there are sober, rational conservatives who don’t believe Romney has true credentials, when in point of fact, the people opposing him are entirely opposed to the establishment and maintenance of government for the common good. We might call them anarchists except that anarchists start from the position that people are basically good–instead the Tea Party begins with the proposition that everyone who isn’t “them” needs to be relocated or shot. 

 Meantime you can tune into http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32545640<p style="font-size:11px; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; color: #999; margin-top: 5px; background: transparent; text-align: center; width: 420px;">Visit msnbc.com for <a style="text-decoration:none !important; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999 !important; font-weight:normal !important; height: 13px; color:#5799DB !important;" href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com">breaking news</a>, <a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032507&quot; style="text-decoration:none !important; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999 !important; font-weight:normal !important; height: 13px; color:#5799DB !important;">world news</a>, and <a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032072&quot; style="text-decoration:none !important; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999 !important; font-weight:normal !important; height: 13px; color:#5799DB !important;">news about the economy</a></p>” target=”_self”>Meet the Press and see David Gregory carry on as though Rick Santorum is just a conservative, when in point of fact he wants to eliminate all health care, take away women's rights, deport immigrants, shove GLBT people back into the closet (at best) and do away with the social safety net. 

Author: stevekuusisto

Poet, Essayist, Blogger, Journalist, Memoirist, Disability Rights Advocate, Public Speaker, Professor, Syracuse University View all posts by stevekuusisto