10. Blindness must be a ticket to utter existential misery and though I may not know any blind people, I know misery. In fact, I’m such a wretch already, if I lost mysight I’d have to kill myself.
9. Therefore blindness equals death. Since no one knows what real death is like, blindness will have to do. This is easy because I don’t know any real blind people anyway.
8. I saw a blind person once and he was begging outside of Bloomingdales. Ergo, all blind people are in extraordinary existential misery. I will call them “the blind” without comic irony.
Again, I don’t know any real blind people.
7. God made blind people as exemplary models of spiritual longing. Clunk clunk, here comes Jesus with some gooey mud.
6. Blind people may have compensatory powers like Tiresias. That’s because although God punishes them, sometimes he takes an almost inexplicable liking to one or two of them.
5. This is easy because I don’t know any real blind people anyway. Art for art’s sake.
4. Blind people in particular and disabled people in general are not part of the true diversity. Don’t compare crippled people (defective, lame, retarded, deaf, whatever you want to call yourselves…)
with my able bodied sisters and brothers.
3. If you’re that way, well, you probably deserve it.
2. I don’t know any real blind people but I’ll bet they’re defective in all kinds of ways, hence, perfect for protean cliches about angst.
1. I think the blind tune pianos? But they’re not real artists, or Ph.Ds, or professors, or opera singers. I mean, I’ve never met one, have you?
Planet of the Blind 