Disabled or Not? Only His Hairdresser Knows for Sure

As I grow older I see how stories about disabilities repeat. Recent articles and blog posts have reintroduced one of America’s old (but never quite forgotten) fascinations, the fake disabled person phenomenon. Suddenly able bodied people become convinced there’s a lot of crippled hooey going on. Outrage ensues. The New York Post publishes articles about fake service animals being smuggled into five star restaurants in Manhattan for god’s sake. And we’re off to the races. From limited and inconclusive evidence we’re told there’s an epidemic. Yep. Able bodied people are bringing Fido into Le Cirque and even onto airplanes by pretending to be (insert condition here).

 

You’d think these stories would be presented for what they are: illustrations of chicanery by able bodied people, but instead the presentations are just unbuttoned gut bustings about that damned Americans with Disabilities Act. If those disabled people didn’t have rights why the rest of us wouldn’t envy them so much! A pox on them for luring us normal folks into faux cripple crime! Cut to video of old lady with cat glasses who says: “He used to be such a nice boy, he used to cut the grass!”

 

One of the things that interests me about this turn of events is its evidentiary and performative turn–assuming there really are able bodied “cripple pretenders” they must invariably discover the experience of being stared at is rather enjoyable. That’s a significant difference from the subjectivity most disabled people experience. Forget the quotidian nature of the enterprise–dragging old moist Fido into the dressing rooms at Bloomies–able bodied people are having one hell of a thrill while pretending to have invisible disabilities.

 

The whole thing underscores my long held view that ableism isn’t driven by contempt of the disabled so much as its pushed by America’s peculiar brand of class warfare. I’ve seen it in the airport–the looks of occasioned disdain because I get to board the plane with my guide dog before the first class passengers. There’s a prevalent suspicion in America that no one gets ahead unless he’s pulling a fast one. Our class system with its impacted envy is hard to understand if you’re from Europe or Mars.