Sauna Talk

So I went to the local health club and had a long swim and then I went and sat in the sauna.  A woman there asked me if I "could see anything at all" and when I said "colors and shapes" then she just went on and on.  "Can you tell that I’m female?" "Do you see my shape?"

Godfrey Daniel!  I wanted this woman to shut up.  I was wrapped in my own private endorphin Eden and I didn’t need this miscreant to ask me about my blindness and for God’s Sake I thought she was going to grab my hand and put it to her face and say: "Can you tell what I look like?"

So because she wouldn’t stop talking I just got up and walked out.  It was easy.

She probably thought: "What a miracle, the blind man walking away, all by himself."

People with disabilities seldom get a break.  Some days you just feel like Hester with the scarlet "A" on your chest.

Shut up!  You!  You Out There!  Read a book about eye disease.  And do it in the privacy of your own home or apartment.  Promise yourself that you won’t spoil other people’s hard earned moments of bliss.

Of course the real problem in this sauna was that it wasn’t the authentic Finnish variety.  In Finland if there’s a jerk in the sauna you just throw more water on the stones and drive the fool away with hot steam.

This was one of those pale imitation American saunas which is just a hot little room without the all important bucket of water and ladle.

I think from now on when people do this intrusive "do you know what I look like" thing, I’m going to say, "Yeah, you look just like Sponge Bob."


Author: skuusisto

Poet, Essayist, Blogger, Journalist, Memoirist, Disability Rights Advocate, Public Speaker, Professor, Syracuse University

0 thoughts on “Sauna Talk”

  1. “I thought she was going to grab my hand and put it to her face and say: “Can you tell what I look like?””
    She wouldn’t have put your hands on her face… she wanted you to “see” her shape.


  2. Better still, you could say, “Well, I’m not sure if you remind me more of Beavis or Butthead.” Heh heh, heh heh…


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