News Flash: Poet and essayist Stephen Kuusisto has been endorsed this morning by Mr. Green Jeans, the longtime straight man to Captain Kangaroo.
Mr. Jeans, who is deceased, but who remains remarkably spry, says by way of the Ouija Board that Kuusisto, who is unknown outside a narrow range of mostly well meaning literary readers, “has the good sense to smile in public, even when there’s excrement on his shoes.”
Kuusisto, who was on a book tour to Begonia, Idaho, said by means of a ham radio that he was flattered to be backed by any of the Kangaroo cast, but he’s a little worried that Mr. Moose hasn’t endorsed the endorsement from Mr. Green Jeans and added: “It’s clear that there are divisions among dead Kangaroo-istas about the virtues of continuing to grin when you have dung on your loafers. This is a divisive issue among dead children’s television stars.”
The coveted endorsement of an American writer by Captain Kangaroo has not been forthcoming.
“He’s of two minds about poop,” Kuusisto said. “He knows it’s a real issue, but he’s afraid to acknowledge it because he might then be confused with Soupy Sales.”
Captain Kangaroo cannot be reached via Ouija Board.