Truly Caring For Our Elders

By Laura Castle

Contributor to POTB

 

They live in nursing homes all over the country. Their frail bodies and often confused minds require expert care, both to avoid physical trauma to their easily bruised and cut skin and their delicate bones, but also to help them avoid the descent from confusion into despair and hopelessness.We who work with elders in care facilities (which go under all kinds of different names these days to avoid the dreaded term “nursing home”) need to acknowledge their decades of service to humanity, excelling at careers and raising children. They have earned all the kindness and comfort that we who are not there yet can provide. Why then must so many languish in under-staffed nursing facilities, barely receiving a minimum of physical care and suffering the indignity of emotional needs ignored?

Every working day, I find myself followed by a caravan of wheelchairs as soon as I arrive, the eager faces inside reaching out for a smile, a touch or just to be called by name. These faces tell me “I am still a human being, although I am very old. Please acknowledge me.”

The physical abuse and neglect of our elders has been fully researched and documented, and there are wonderful people who work around the clock to end these abuses of seniors. I wish to focus on one of the “little abuses” that can be equally hurtful.

The lack of greetings received by elders is disgraceful. So many times and in many facilities, I have seen an employee grab a wheelchair at mealtime and push it into the dining room without a “Good Morning” to the human seated inside or “It’s time for breakfast “(lunch or dinner.)  Would there,perhaps be less senior dementia,  angry behaviors and lack of appetite if more of us took the small step of greeting them when we transport them into another room for any purpose?

To transport a conscious person with no greeting is a violation of human dignity- an emotional slap on the face. It is to say “You are not a person. You are merely the baggage I work with, take to and from the dining room, and help with toileting, dressing and bathing. You are nothing but the means to my paycheck.”
I greeted a new resident many years ago in an understaffed facility who was sitting in her wheelchair crying as employees rushed past, ignoring her. Upon hearing “Good Morning Mrs. S— and welcome. We’re glad to have you here” her tears stopped. She gazed at me with wonder in her eyes and said “Now, I know I’m still alive. You said my name!”

Yes, there are times when we are too busy to stop when a resident calls out to us. But, we can always smile and call that person by name as we hurry by. Do we not realize that we will someday be that old and need the respect and kindness they seek?

When you make the decision to volunteer at a nursing home, you will do do much more than help with physical care and make life easier for the staff. Your smiles, greetings and interest may actually help restore the dignity and sense of humanity to an ignored, isolated person. This is no small achievement.

Laura Castle lives in Vero Beach, Florida. Laura is a survivor of severe, chronic child abuse and plans to write  about this in the future. She is an avid reader and walker. She is married to a sweet, gentle man whose love has helped her heal.