I don’t know what channel it was but there was Deepak Chopra on my TV and I was drinking my first cup of coffee and trying like some kind of bug mantis to hold my head up. I was barely alive. It was worse than that. Its only because I love you that I won’t go on.
Deepak Chopra was talking about the ten things you need to do every morning to achieve physical and spiritual health. Things like: “find the light inside” and “reflect on the gift that is you alone–or something like that.
I couldn’t help it. I thought Deepak Chopra was full of shit. My inner light is filled with mosquitoes and the gift that is mine is mostly my own business thank you very much. Today I will make a difference in the world by not touching anybody. And I won’t kill any turkeys.
There are 45 million people in this country who can’t get a flu shot because they don’t have any health insurance. I guess they should just find the light that is inside. Maybe they should just swallow a flashlight?
Feeling mean! Yep. Mean as a wild boar among the lilacs.
Grrrrrr!
Hey! Fred Astaire! Wipe your shoes you sonofabitch! That’s a brand new carpet!
God Almighty!
Grrrrrr!
I feel like a cottonwood stump.
I’m the Adonis of stumps…
But I’m still mean. Don’t ring my doorbell Mrs. KIndhead. I’m not donating a thing to the Community Chest.
Okay. Everybody has an inner light whether they’re rich or poor. Sure. Fine.
Sure.
Let’s tell the poor who huddle in the emergency rooms to float in the seven spheres.
Fine.
Dear Mrs. Kindhead: I’m going to donate my TV.
S.K.
Planet of the Blind 
Oh … I so get where you are coming from. Did you read my mind?
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