Stealing the Pears from a Blind Guy's Tree

Pear Tree

 

Someone has stolen my pears. I have a suspect in mind but I won't confront him (or her)–rather I shall say: "Have you noticed anyone in my yard picking my fruit?" 

Stealing pears from a blind dude. Man, does that ever stink!

Of course, there are so many dreadful occurences on this planet that my little pear tree's violation is as nothing…

But I hope they choke on my little Anjous. I hope they get gout! I hope they bite into a live wasp! 

Hey, maybe he or she will grow up to be a saint, like Augustine, regreting the theft of pears. 

I hope they get gout! 

S.K. 

 

 

0 thoughts on “Stealing the Pears from a Blind Guy's Tree

  1. I’d say that you should pay a visit to your local farmer’s market and dust the pears for fingerprints.

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  2. EVERY pear, LB! EVERY pear! Before I had a chance to pick a single one.
    EVERY pear is not a matter of childhood innocence, it’s a @$*($% conspiracy! Don’t pull that neo-Romantic, Wordsworthian trip on me! I’m getting a shotgun! I’m buying a vicious pear thief eating dog!

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  3. Oh fiddle-dee-dee! Were you planning on eating every single pear on your pear tree, or are you worried that the birds will not get their fair share. The “thief” was probably some sweet children (I’m sure some exist somewhere) who believed their neighbor wouldn’t mind parting with a few pears — or perhaps the culprit is baking you a fresh pear tarte even as you whine!
    In Silver Lake, we have a fine tradition of fruit thievery. A trio of performance artists publishes a map that documents any fruit tree with branches that extend over public property, so that people may harvest at will: http://vimeo.com/19076554
    Are you going to be the greedy landowner or the generous member of your new community? Hmmmm?

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  4. That is *almost* unforgivable. I am just moving into a new house and I am sure the previous owners left with all the figs, not to mention the mini fridge. I hope you find out who pilfered your pears. More importantly, I hope they will leave you a few.

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