Guide Dog Steals Cat Food Without Remorse

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My guide dog Nira, who is a $45,000 canine, just ran upstairs and stole the cat’s food. Dogs understand the Everest Principle: “Because it was there.” I’m convinced she eats the old cat’s kibbles because they’re available and not out of schadenfreude meets glee. The latter belongs to human beings exclusively–siblings in particular. No Nira ate the cat’s food because tomorrow is a mystery. Because the canine genome says that on  your way out of town it’s always best to steal a chicken.