My father died on this day 19 years ago. Though he was nearly 80 he was in good health and his sudden passing was therefore unexpected. In the subjective I’ve never been able to celebrate Easter since by which I mean the easy, fanciful, chocolate bunny American Easter. Because my dad died on this day I’ve been compelled to confront the resurrection of Christ in its ur-ontologies—if we’re stricken here, with death inevitable, what does the promise of life everlasting through Jesus mean?
Augustine wrote:
“And he departed from our sight that we might return to our hearts and find him there. For he left us, and behold, he is here.”
Note the demarcation of sight and heart—the old Christian insistence that we see as through a glass darkly or in turn we do not really see at all. Faith is sight according to the church and that sight is inward, unlimited, joyous.
Strictly speaking everything you can no longer see is in your heart. Your poor heart. It must stand for memory, soul, eternity, and be the church itself.
The Christian heart is a big thing.
Sight and heart and memory and faith become one with the resurrection of Christ.
You might say it’s easier to believe in the chocolate bunny. Augustine:
“Consider seriously, how much we should love eternal life, when this miserable life, that’s got to end anyhow some time, is loved so dearly … So you love this life, do you, in which you struggle, and run around, and bustle about and gasp for breath; and you can scarcely count the things that have to be done in this wretched life: sowing, plowing, planting, sailing, grinding, cooking, weaving. And after all this, your life has got to end anyhow … So learn, brothers and sisters, to seek eternal life, where you will not have to endure these things, but will reign with God forever.”
Now Dear Saint Augustine, seeking eternal life is so much harder than getting ahold of some chocolate eggs.
The striving for optimism—an ontology of meanings, good meanings, affirmations beyond just this one life—this is what striving and the heart are for.
This much I know.
And here is my favorite Easter poem….Easter Wings by George Herbert:
Lord, who createdst man in wealth and store,
Though foolishly he lost the same,
Decaying more and more,
Till he became
Most poore:
With thee
O let me rise
As larks, harmoniously,
And sing this day thy victories:
Then shall the fall further the flight in me.
My tender age in sorrow did beginne
And still with sicknesses and shame.
Thou didst so punish sinne,
That I became
Most thinne.
With thee
Let me combine,
And feel thy victorie:
For, if I imp my wing on thine,
Affliction shall advance the flight in me.
Planet of the Blind 
“For, if I imp my wing on thine,
Affliction shall advance the flight in me.”
That line — as startling as the one that ended my favorite Herbert poem, “The Collar.” I remember first reading it and gasping. Thank you for reminding me of Herbert, for your own exquisite spirit always reflected in your writing. I hope you are well.
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Thank you Steve for sharing both a personal story, some theology, and a up lifting poem!
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