When the statues come to life…

Every clotted child knows it’s bad—

Frosty the Snowman 

Just another perv uncle,

Worse, the dancing ones,

Colonel Snap-tooth

Down from his plinth.

Even the good ones,

Helen Keller 

Following you home

On granite legs

Will scare the shit 

Out of you, stunt

Your growth 

Which is why 

I’m short, Madame Blavatsky

So fucking short.