Pride and Prejudice, After Dark
Dorothy Parker writing Jane Austen:
It is a truth universally acknowledged, and one I have personally suffered through at three separate dinner parties, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. It is further acknowledged, though less frequently admitted, that he is generally in want of very little else, least of all conversation.
Mrs. Bennet, who had five daughters and the nerves of a cat in a thunderstorm, received the news of Mr. Bingley’s arrival at Netherfield with the composure of a woman who has just been told the house is on fire and the fire is eligible. “A single man of large fortune!” she cried. “Four or five thousand a year! What a fine thing for our girls!” Mr. Bennet, who had long ago taken refuge in his library the way other men take refuge in drink, replied that he did not see how it could affect them, and went on reading. It was the most sensible thing anyone said all evening, and it was wasted entirely.
Elizabeth, the second daughter, had a lively mind and an opinion of herself that she would have called discernment and her enemies would have called a hobby. She disliked Mr. Darcy upon sight, which saved considerable time later when she had to reverse herself. He was tall, proud, and rich, three qualities that in a woman would be called a character flaw and in a man are called a catch. He declined to dance with her, remarking that she was tolerable but not handsome enough to tempt him. She laughed about it for the rest of the evening, in the bright, brittle manner of a person who will be thinking about it in the carriage, and at four in the morning, and probably in 1847.
Love, as it developed, proceeded the way it always does in these matters: with a great deal of walking about in the rain, a number of letters better left unsent, and a good many words that would have to be eaten later without so much as a pinch of salt. Everyone concerned behaved abominably, and was rewarded with an income. I have always said that virtue is its own reward, but I have noticed that it is considerably improved by ten thousand a year and a house in Derbyshire.
Poet, Essayist, Blogger, Journalist, Memoirist, Disability Rights Advocate, Public Speaker, Professor, Syracuse University
