The Index

When I look inside myself I find that I’m a "believer"–though things can get complicated. For instance: I believe in Jesus but I agree with Bishop Tutu that Christianity says absolutely nothing about homosexuality. Jesus simply talks about loving your neighbor.

I have a hard time loving my next door neighbor. He and his wife think they’re better than I am. They stare at me and don’t say hello because they imagine that since I’m blind I won’t know what they’re doing.

I believe in the principle of "one man, one vote" and "one woman, one vote" and I despair that since the late 19th century American corporations have been given the economic power to undermine this basic tenet of democracy. I may be unhappy with my neighbor, but his vote should have equal weight with the influence of Raytheon Corporation. Of course we all know that things dont work this way. As a "believer" I must assume a kind of essential silliness. One person, one vote. Love your neighbor. Community-minded corporations.

As a believer I believe that flawed individuals can be good people. Hooray for Al Gore. Hooray for Tony Blair who is going to try out for the peacemakers team. I shall refuse to become terminally cynical yessir.

I believe that Mark Rich and Scooter Libby should both have gone to jail. I believe two wrongs don’t make a right. I believe that people who have disabling conditions should never be treated as second class citizens. I believe that the United States was wrong when it didn’t sign the United Nations charter on global rights for persons with disabilities.

I believe teenagers should be given sex education.

I believe baseball should not allow Barry Bonds to hold the homerun record without some kind of asterisk in the record book which will disclose for all generations to come that he cheated.

I believe that cat lovers are equal to dog lovers.

I do not believe in "therapy tarantulas" and you won’t be able to change my mind.

I do not believe that the current President of the United States is "essentially a good guy". In my view, he’s the guy in the frat house who goes along with any idea that’s proposed by the "in crowd" which is a long winded way of saying that he’s a follower and not a leader.

I don’t believe in aroma therapy. In general I find that the best smells are really bad for you. I for instance particularly love the smell of freshly lit cigarettes.

I do not believe in smoking.

I don’t really believe that cat lovers are equal to dog lovers. But I think they’re educable.

Just joking.

I believe my neighbors love their cat.

I believe that Ernest Hemingway’s short story "A Clean Well lighted Place" is the finest piece of short fiction ever written.

I believe that his novel, "The Old Man and the Sea" is mostly poetry.

I believe that Jimmy Carter is the most Christian President this nation has ever had.

I believe that Ringo Starr is a damned good drummer.

I don’t believe that all sushi is equal.

I don’t believe that animals should be made to wear clothes.

I don’t believe that poker games should be aired on tv.

I don’t believe in tv.

I do believe that the current version of William Shatner is a sublime development.

I am now going out into the world freshly resolved to love everyone.

S.K.

Mr. Brooks

Last night my wife Connie and I went to see the new Kevin Costner film, "Mr. Brooks" largely on the basis of a rave review by Gene Shalit of the Today Show.  Shalit said the film was well written and suspenseful and that both Kevin Costner and William Hurt are terrific in their shared role, which is to say that they both act out a part of the disturbed psyche of "Earl" who is a scion of the community and also a serial killer in secret.

The flick is indeed riveting and you won’t have a dull moment.  Demi Moore plays a Portland homicide detective with genuine skill.  The writing is superb.

This is also the bloodiest movie I’ve seen since Sam Peckinpaugh’s "Straw Dogs" and you should be forewarned of this if you haven’t seen the film.  Gene Shalit was so attentive to the movie’s virtues that he forgot to say how astonishingly brutal it is.  This omission probably has something to do with the enormous weight of his moustache.  I don’t really know how heavy Gene Shalit’s moustache is, but it’s a safe bet that it’s heavier than say, your average suburban squirrel.

I know that if I had a squirrel on my lip I’d forget to tell you things.

Kevin Costner is truly amazing in this flick.  He’s a cross between the man in the gray flannel suit and the Zodiac killer.  That’s not an easy act to get away with, unless you work for the State Department.

Anyway, if you see this film be prepared for some serious carnage.

As for me, I felt that one of the minor characters in "Mr. Brooks" who "gets it" was a lot like someone I really don’t like and accordingly I had some quasi-pathologized catharsis which is pretty much what people go to the movies for nowadays.  Yep.  Even a paragon of virtue like moi can enjoy some symbiotic viciousness.  And that’s also part of the film’s plot so I can’t say any more about the matter.

By the way, Gene Shalit and Patch Adams have pretty much the same wardrobe.  I wonder where they shop?

S.K.