When I was a teenager I wanted very much to join the Navy. There was a problem though: the Navy didn’t have any proven need for blind sailors. I was genuinely disappointed by this and so I took up anorexia and by the time I went to college I weighed 102 pounds. On the bright side, I was a very fast 102 pounds and I was able to outpace a University of New Hampshire hockey player in a long distance run. On the dark side, I ran faster than the hockey player but I also ran into a fence.
Nowadays I counsel everyone I meet to avoid the kind of behavior I once engaged in. But I still have these wild moments. I climb on top of rickety chairs to reach an upper shelf just because I thrill inwardly to the possibility of something orthopedic and dreadful. Women like to call this kind of behavior "testosterone poisoning" but they have it too.
I don’t know what I will do today that will be reckless, but it’s sure to be self evident to others. "Look Mommy, that man over there is trying to catch a bumble bee with his arm pit!"
Or something like that.
S.K.
Poet, Essayist, Blogger, Journalist, Memoirist, Disability Rights Advocate, Public Speaker, Professor, Syracuse University
“the Navy didn’t have any proven need for blind sailors.”
Which is not to say it didn’t have a few, at least metaphorically. I was in it for a couple of years during the ‘Nam drawdown, which was not a good period for personnel hiring in the military services.
Not to put too fine a point on it, some of ’em were dumber than the proverbial box of rocks.
Hi there !
Just landed on your blog through Google – very informative, and you’re a good writer !
I’m blind in one eye and was extremely relieved to learn that I wouldn’t do the 3 days compulsory national service – yep, in France it’s for both men and women.
Everybody likes to take risk… life isn’t fun otherwise !
Georgia,
You are my kind of gal. You ride horses too? Have you read my post “Majesty”?
Hi S.K.,
At first I bristled at the idea that women have testosterone poisoning, but my dear husband would agree with you. See, I bust his chops because one of his favorite activities in the whole wide world is short track speed skating, which is EXTREMELY dangerous. You go about a million miles an hour and wear all kinds of protective padding, including a Kevlar dicky in case you fall and one of your compatriots skates over your jugular vein. Do I make my case?
Well, Tom pointed out that when he falls, and he frequently does, he falls from a standing position to the ice, a distance of 5′ 7″. And that when you slide, you hit a very well padded wall. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I said.
He then added that I, on the other hand, like to ride horses, animals which weigh several hundred pounds and are controlled by a bit in their mouth and various subtle hand/leg signals that he is hard pressed to figure out. I said it didn’t matter if he didn’t understand the signals, the horse did, OK?
Tom added that if I fall, it’s more like 10′, and I hit the hard ground. I can be trampled by the aforementioned horse and the only protective clothing I have is a helmet. Oh, and he also had to mention that I have severe osteopenia, the precursor to osteoporosis, so I’d end up with a bunch of broken bones.
Then he pointed out to me that I’ve gone rock climbing on several occasions.
I told him he was a poop-head.
Stay out of mischief, and watch out for bumblebees.
Georgia