The Jersey Willow

pussy-willow-bud2 Pussy Galore

 

A friend of mine who I’ll call “X” because he’s a responsible, decent, upright fellow and what happened to him can’t be helped, this friend, this reliable observer went into a Sam’s Club mega-store in Cedar Rapids, Iowa where he saw a sign advertising “Jersey Willows” and when he observed the product (as it were) he saw that they were “Pussy Willows” plain as day. X wondered if “Jersey Willow” was a synonym for Pussy Willow and he looked it up. There is no such thing as the “Jersey Willow” though there are some retirement homes in the Garden State called “Willow View” and the like.

X speculated that some customer wheeling a cart overburdened with toilet paper and frozen meatballs complained about the dear Pussy Willow. One wonders how that conversation might have unfolded.

X looked on the national Sam’s Club website and saw that Pussy Willows are listed as an item you can purchase if you are so inclined. There was no mention of the Jersey Willow.

What would James Bond say?

 

S.K.

0 thoughts on “The Jersey Willow

  1. LOL!!! I myself, being a native of that wonderful state, just had a little “Tony Soprano” moment when I saw a sign displaying “Jersey Willows.” My husband and I went to our local Sam’s Club and I noticed a large urn with pussy willows for sale. However, the sign said “Jersey Willows” and I started ranting to my husband: “Jersey Willows! What makes these “Jersey” willows? What? Are they from the Meadowlands or something? Those are pussy willows, not Jersey Willows. Yeah, I got your Jersey willows. Jersey willow this!” I had clearly lost it and my husband had to pull me away from the mislabeled display. I’m considering a letter to Sam’s Club/Wal-Mart showing them the error of their ways!

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  2. The person responsible for the sign( & likely a young, two-legged houseplant, unfamiliar with pussy willows) probably either misread , or couldn’t read, the source(invoice,note,list,screen, etc) that inspired him/her to make the sign . Have seen it plenty of times in the local grocery chain. Also ocasionally in the local installments of the various Idiotmarts. ( Of which, Walmart/Sam’s Club is the leading practitioner. ) 😉

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