The Jersey Willow

pussy-willow-bud2 Pussy Galore


A friend of mine who I’ll call “X” because he’s a responsible, decent, upright fellow and what happened to him can’t be helped, this friend, this reliable observer went into a Sam’s Club mega-store in Cedar Rapids, Iowa where he saw a sign advertising “Jersey Willows” and when he observed the product (as it were) he saw that they were “Pussy Willows” plain as day. X wondered if “Jersey Willow” was a synonym for Pussy Willow and he looked it up. There is no such thing as the “Jersey Willow” though there are some retirement homes in the Garden State called “Willow View” and the like.

X speculated that some customer wheeling a cart overburdened with toilet paper and frozen meatballs complained about the dear Pussy Willow. One wonders how that conversation might have unfolded.

X looked on the national Sam’s Club website and saw that Pussy Willows are listed as an item you can purchase if you are so inclined. There was no mention of the Jersey Willow.

What would James Bond say?