The Professors: A Poem from Inside the Academy

Imgres 

Photo: The Three Stooges—Moe and Larry, pulling Curly’s ears…

 

 

 

Triflers beware! The professors are here:

Punctilious, mindful, on the move,

 

They’ll flush you out, invest your reveries,

Or close your brown studies. It’s you they’ve watched

 

Woolgathering, or nonchalant, improvident- tant pis!

Micawbers, slackers, skimmers, here’s your match,

 

The professors have arrived: the robed Savonarolas!

Leap in the dark, grope or guess, send up a trial balloon,

 

Rummage, ransack, winnow or appraise–

Inquisitors will grill you: mooncalf, booby, lout, buffoon.

 

It’s time for gumption, prudence, brains and mother wit:

A bluestocking’s wrangle, a sine qua non;

 

Alas, poor duffers, bookless, smattering, you invent

A limerick, an Irish muddle, clearly heretic.

 

O the professors are here: praise Mentor!

They swoop through the long schoolroom,

 

Vertiginous, oracular, confirmatory, O rodomontade!