Dear Mr. Milton

Thank you for submitting “Paradise Lost” to the Old Yorker. We regret we cannot publish your poem. We appreciate your sanguinary devotion to hoary sinners. You certainly have a way with snakes.
If you have anything short ending with an “ah” moment of lyric transport we’d love to see it. 

Yours, 

Cuthbert Quiller
Sub-sub-Cartesian Proof Reader and Mail Clerk
Who Knows the Most about Microsoft Exchange
and Cleans the Coffee Maker to the Standards of
His Nibbs.