Freedom’s Safest Place?

The children are delicate and must be kept away from sunlight. Visit any playground and you’ll find the fields empty. It’s not daylight that’s dangerous, it’s the prospects it might bring. All the adults have guns. The adults are a bad group. I’m certain the National Rifle Association has a plan to fix this—baseball gloves with six shooters built in; double barreled hockey sticks. How hard could it be to turn a basketball into a Gatling gun? Hooray for the NRA! Hooray for militarized innocence!

Meanwhile the grownups in America—which means anyone over eleven—go about their business slaughtering each other. And the police go about their business, slaughtering the slaughterers even though some aren’t really all that dangerous, you know, like Tamir Rice for or Philando Castillo but heck they got what they deserved, they made the mistake of going outdoors. What’s that? People can get killed sitting in their houses? Well they ought to live in gated communities. As the faux president of the United States likes to say, “they expect everything to be done for them.”

Here’s the good thing: if your child is killed by gunfire and you can’t afford to bury her most cities still have pauper’s graves. Cheaper than health care. Burying grownups costs extra but mostly it’s still cheaper than health insurance.

The NRA’s website has the slogan: “freedom’s safest place”—better than any playground or happy musical event, really….