The Book of Ringo

Back in the sixties if you had to make a decision about anything (from whether to have children or sell your bicycle) chances are good that you consulted the I Ching. Some people still do this of course and I wouldn’t want to dissuade them from utilizing an age old book of wisdom.

But I’m announcing on this blog that I’m now putting together a new spiritual almanac that I’m calling “The Book of Ringo”.

Why? Because I believe that the wisest words of the last generation are those of the overlooked Beatle, Richard Starkey.

This is always the way of things when it comes to holy men or women. They’re right here in our midst but we don’t see them.

Everybody remembers the topsy-turvy lingo of John Lennon and Paul McCartney or the sage pronouncements of Maharishi—but we can now see that wise as these people may have been or might still be, they are, as the poet Emily Dickinson once said, “playing at paste” as opposed to Ringo who has the real gems.    

Who among you remembers that the first question asked of The Beatles as they stood on American soil for the first time at Idlewild was posed by a hostile reporter who snarled at Ringo: “What do you think of Beethoven?”

Ringo said: “I love Beethoven, especially the poems.”

I would love to top that, but I’m not wise enough. Not by a country mile in the company of my long winded grandmother am I that smart.

Like the I Ching you can sort Ringo’s lyrics and pronouncements in any shape and they will answer your questions.

Example: “Why is life so hard?”


“I’d ask my friends to come and see/an Octopus’s garden with me.”

But of course like all holy men, Ringo is fast.

At this year’s Grammy Awards Ringo overheard Natalie Cole complaining about Amy Winehouse’s multiple awards and he said:

"Man, those are some grapes!

Need more proof Ringo is a guru?

Press: “What do you think of topless bathing suits?”

Ringo:  “We’ve been wearing them for years.”

Upon seeing America for the first time:

“So this is America. They must be out of their minds.”

Of course the secret of all spiritual figures is that they invariably come from humble roots. Ringo once said that Gene Autrey was his first musical influence.

I rest my case.

The process of cross-indexing the Book of Ringo could take several years. And obviously there’s some theosophical research that has to be done. What for instance does this mean exactly?

Reporter: “Why do you always wear six rings?”

Ringo: “because six is too heavy.”

Man, I’m sorry! That’s better than the Dhammapada!


Celebrity Endorsement

News Flash: Poet and essayist Stephen Kuusisto has been endorsed this morning by Mr. Green Jeans, the longtime straight man to Captain Kangaroo.

Mr. Jeans, who is deceased, but who remains remarkably spry, says by way of the Ouija Board that Kuusisto, who is unknown outside a narrow range of mostly well meaning literary readers, “has the good sense to smile in public, even when there’s excrement  on his shoes.”

Kuusisto, who was on a book tour to Begonia, Idaho, said by means of a ham radio that he was flattered to be backed by any of the Kangaroo cast, but he’s a little worried that Mr. Moose hasn’t endorsed the endorsement from Mr. Green Jeans and added: “It’s clear that there are divisions among dead Kangaroo-istas about the virtues of continuing to grin when you have dung on your loafers. This is a divisive issue among dead children’s television stars.”

The coveted endorsement of an American writer by Captain Kangaroo has not been forthcoming.

“He’s of two minds about poop,” Kuusisto said. “He knows it’s a real issue, but he’s afraid to acknowledge it because he might then be confused with Soupy Sales.”

Captain Kangaroo cannot be reached via Ouija Board.



As written by Simi Linton:

Definitions of the word “blind” found in my computer’s Thesaurus
support the idea that blindness limits . The terms ignorant,
imperceptive, insensitive, irrational, oblivious, obtuse, random, rash,
stagger, unaware, unconscious, uncontrolled, unknowing, unplanned and
violent came up on my screen. My Roget’s Thesaurus also provided
inattentive and purposeless. These meanings lurk under the surface when
the word “blind” is used whether on its own, or in pairings, in such
phrases as “blind passion”, “blind rage”, “blind justice”, “blind
drunk” and “blind faith”.

How can the culture get away with attaching such an absurd
proliferations of meanings to a condition that affects, simply, visual
acuity? Of all the impairments, blindness seems to call up the most
fantastical of responses. These are used, uncritically and without
apparent irony by many and often.

Read Simi’s post in its entirety:  Blind Blind People and Other Spurious Tales

Longshot Takes Presidential Campaign to New Hampshire

You’ve probably never heard of him, but this man’s views on issues that concern us all are worth listening to. 

Catch up to him in New Hampshire – New Hampshire, Ohio that is – and listen to his latest "stump" speech.  It’s very brief but there is little doubt you’ll appreciate his fresh perspective.

(If nothing else, you’ll probably chuckle.  That could be a good thing! )

~ Connie