Eating the Right

tartar sauce in a bowl


A friend of mine (who is an Episcopal Priest) once said: “The only thing better than a dancing Jesus is an edible Jesus.” This put me in mind of the spirit and flesh of sacrifice and then it hit me: I should eat right wing politicians. This idea caused me some further amusement for I promptly imagined the vast quantities of Tartar sauce I would need. I ate Joe Wilson in a recent post entitled “Dear Rep. Wilson” and the man was such a lightweight he went right down my gullet. He required no tonic or sauces. As soon as I put him in my mouth he was all separate particles. He went down smooth. But eating Chuck Grassley or John Boehner or Jeff Sessions–that’s going to call for some serious Tartar sauce and maybe some Adolph’s meat tenderizer. Yes my friends, the City on the Hill will soon be slick with comestibles. Yum!

The first thing to do if you want to eat a right winger is to remove what’s called “the poop shoot” (those of you who have eaten crayfish know how crucial this is) and like a true Republican I will arrange to have a subcontractor take care of this business. (Blackwater can do it, I’m sure of it.)

If “might makes right” you can imagine how long their poop chutes will be. Studies have shown that right wingers have inestimable alimentary outlets. No one knows about this better than Joe Lieberman whose toilet is high as an ocean liner and had many steps to its summit. But enough of these mechanics.    

Stay tuned. I propose in my next post to eat John Boehner.



0 thoughts on “Eating the Right

  1. I’m sorry, never thought to eat a right winger because I thought they were ALL alimentary outlet. Unless you’ve got a good recipe for tripe, what the point? And who eats tripe anyway?


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